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THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT-SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES
The Emotional Bank Account -Secrets of Happy Families
The Emotional Bank Account is like a financial bank account in one way: you can make "deposits"-actions that build trust-or you can make "withdrawals" that decrease it. It represents the quality of the relationship you have with other people. If you have a high balance, then communication is open and free.
Let me share ideas for "deposits" you can make in your family:
Cultivate kindness
In relationships, the little things are the big things. They go a long way toward building trust and unconditional love. Just think about the impact in your family of using words of courtesy such as thank you and please. Or unexpected acts of service，such as taking children shopping for something that's important to them. Or finding little ways to express love， such as leaving a note in a lunch box or briefcase.
Earn an "A": apologize
Sometimes apologizing is incredibly hard, but the effort says, "Our relationship is very important to me." And the kind of communication builds the Emotional Bank Account.
Learn loyalty
Next to apologizing, one of the most important deposits a person can make is to be loyal to family members when they are not present.
In other words, talk about others as if they were there. That doesn't mean you're unaware of their weaknesses. It means, rather, that you focus on the positive - that you wouldn't be ashamed to have the person overhear it.
Make - and keep - promises
Don't forget to forgive
For many, the ultimate deposit to the Emotional Bank Account comes in forgiving.
When you forgive, you open the channels for trust and unconditional love. You cleanse your heart. You also remove obstacle that keeps others from changing - because when you don't forgive, you put yourself between people and their conscience. Instead of spending their energy on work with their own conscience, they spend it defending and justifying their behavior to you.
In everything you do for your family, keep in mind the miracle of the Chinese bamboo. After the seed is planted, new, taller shoots appear until the bamboo reaches full height. But the most dramatic growth is underground, where the roots grow very strong. With this support, the bamboo can reach a height of 120 feet!
The Emotional Bank Account can be like that. As you begin to make deposits, you may see positive results immediately. More often it will take weeks, months, even years. But results will come, and you will be astonished at the change.
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 人生之苦，在于所求不得。 |
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