It hard to have a conversation these days. Everyone is so distracted.
  Interruptions, multi-tasking, and technology distract us from having even the simplest of conversations. How do you ensure that you are present when you are having a conversation?
  I once worked for a boss that wasn‘t a good listener. One day, I was in his office for a one-on-one meeting. Before the meeting even got started his phone rang, and he proceeded to talk to a friend for 10 minutes while I sat there. A few minutes into the meeting his was reading incoming emails on his computer screen. Then, a couple of minutes later a colleague appeared in the doorway. Instead of saying he was busy, he proceeded to discuss his weekend adventures.
  我以前的一个老板就不是一个善于倾听的人。有一天,我在他办公室与他一对一交谈。在交谈开始前他的电话就响了,他跟朋友一直聊了10分钟,而我坐在那儿等。交谈开始后的几分钟里,他一直盯着电脑屏幕,阅读接收到的邮件。又过了几分钟 一位同事出现在门口。他没有说他在忙,而是转入关于周末探险的讨论。
  How would this situation make you feel? “Don‘t let the phone, interruptions, or other work take precedence over the person sitting front of you.”
  Of course, I didn‘t feel like sharing anything else. How could I compete with all those other interruptions. It felt like anything I was saying was third-rate.
  When someone is speaking with you, they want to be heard. Make sure you give them your full attention. Here are 10 Ways to “Be Present” and be a better Listener:
  1. Body Language肢体语言
  Don‘t underestimate the power of body language. What you do with your body while you are in a conversation says much more than any words. As much as 80% of what we convey in a conversation is non-verbal. Face the other person. Present an open posture. A little body language goes a long way.千万不要低估肢体语言的威力。交谈时,肢体动作透露出的信息远远胜过你的话语。交谈中,高达80%的信息传递是非语言的。正视对方,摆出开诚布公的姿态,一点细微的肢体语言都影响深远。
  2. Listen倾听
  Listen, plain and simple. Nothing stops a conversation colder than, “Could you repeat that?” Listen like you were going to have to repeat back to them what they have told you.倾听,就这么简单。“你再说一遍好吗?”这样的分神会令说话者最受伤。倾听,好像你将不得不把他们所说的话再复述给他们一样。
  3. Acknowledge认同
  We need signs that we are being heard. Conversation cues and acknowledgements are part of how we communicate. If you doubt this, the next time you are on a phone call simply stop making any noise while the other person is speaking. Within a few moments the other person will stop and ask, “Are you still there?”
  4. Don‘t Sit Across the Desk不要隔桌而坐
  Sitting across the desk puts a barrier between you and who you are meeting with. Come out from behind your desk and meet. A small meeting table is always better than the “wall” that a desk presents.隔桌而坐,这张办公桌会成为你和对方沟通的阻碍。从办公桌后走出来,靠近对方。小型会议桌总是好过办公桌这堵“墙”。
  5. Make Them Your Top Priority把他们放在首位
  When you are listening to someone, don‘t take calls or let someone else who walks up take precedence over the current conversation. When you are with someone, make them priority.当你倾听某人时,不要接电话,也不要让走过前来的其他人打断你们的交谈。当你和某人在一起时,请重视他们。
  6. Repeat, Don‘t Refute重复,不要反驳
  When someone is telling you their story, they aren‘t looking for you to interrupt with analysis or suggestions. Hear them out. Repeat back to them what you heard. You can put on your “fix it” hat later. (Only if asked!)
  7. Don‘t Do Other Work放下其他工作
  In our busy technology driven world, it is tempting to send off that quick text or answer that email. Don‘t. People can tell when you are doing something else. You may think it is a brief task, but it tells the other person that you have more important work to do. This is not the time to multi-task.在如今这个被科技所驱使的忙碌世界里,发一条短信回复一封邮件很诱人。不要这样做,人们能感觉到你在忙别的事情。你可能认为,这是长话短说的事情,但其他人会理解为有更重要的工作在等你。这不是多项工作一起做的时候。
  8. Put the Cell Phone Down放下手机
  We give our phones too much control over us. We jump any time they ring, beep, or buzz. So, silence your phone. Turn it off or put it in a drawer. Better yet, “Stop having an affair with your smartphone.”
  9. Question提问
  Ask questions to show that you care and that you are in the conversation. Don‘t go into interrogation mode. Ask interest questions like, “What happened next?” or “How did you feel then?”
  10. Thank Them表示感谢
  After a conversation, say “Thank you for talking to me.” You don‘t have to provide an answer or magical solution. Often, the other person just wants to be heard and acknowledged. Be there for them and just listen.交谈结束后,说“谢谢你与我交谈”。你不必提供答案或奇妙的解决方案。对方常常只希望被倾听被认同,在他们身边仅仅倾听就够了。
  When you are speaking with someone, be in the moment. Give them your full attention. Don‘t let interruptions stop the conversation. Be present. Turn off the tech. And just listen. You may just make the other person feel like your top priority.和某人交谈时,要排除干扰。给他们你全部的注意力,不要让干扰中断交谈。不分心,关掉高科技产品,静心倾听。你会让对方感觉到你最重视他。